Simple Cigarette
by Lost-in-Thought-15
Summary: She didn't know why she had the cigarette, all she knew was that she didn't want to let it go. Isabelle looks for solace from her losses in the darkness of night and the intoxicating smoke of a cigarette. T for dark themes and drug use.
1. Izzy Ponders the Night

A Simple Cigarette

I was looking through my files and found this. After a bit of revising, I decided to post it. Should I continue it?

And for all of you that are reading Confused, I'm sorry i haven't been updating it. I just haven't got any inspiration for it lately. sorry, but i will update it as soon as i have some ideas.

_Summary:_  
_She didn't know why she had the cigarette, all she knew was that she didn't want to let it go. Isabelle looks for solace from her losses in the darkness of night and the intoxicating smoke of a cigarette._

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It was a dark street in the middle of the night with a long stretch of road and a single street light. The electricity of a near-by thunder storm crackled in the air, smelling of o-zone and fresh rain. A heavy leather coat sat on scar covered shoulders, and a mark, blacker than the surrounding night, was just barely visible under the choler of the girls shirt. the bitter smoke from the cigarette hanging from the girls mouth made curling designs in the air, and the wind wafted them heaven-ward. The bare skin of the girls face and neck were wet, but not with the rain. No, not rain, for the storm had not yet arrived. Taking a drag from her cigarette, she looked out across the city, brimming with demons of all kinds. Some were from alternate universes. But some were human. A few years ago, she wouldn't have considered them a threat. A few years ago, she wouldn't have even given them a second glance. But a few years ago, she didn't have the same experiences that she had now.

Another breath of smoke. She didn't know why she had the cigarette, but she knew she didn't want to let it go. The warm ember on the end was a welcome comfort in the cold night, and the smoke served as a release from the haunting memories.

Isabelle Lightwood had been chasing demons since she was eight. She was raised for it. After beginning training at the age of five, she had excelled at the hunt, the lure, the procedure of killing a demon, and she had studied tirelessly on the meanings of marks. She was always looking for answers in the old pages of the books in the Institutes library. Looking that the kinds of demons that stung, and which ones bit, and which ones had the deadliest poison, and which ones could regenerate. she was always trying to live up to her brother, who was always so much better than her, despite only being a year older.

When she got her first mark at the age of twelve, it had burned, but she had restrained her tears. She needed to be strong. She had to.

Jace had been there for two years at the time. He didn't talk much at the only time he ever really talked was when he was asked a question, and even then, he would sink back into his own mind immediately after wards. Alec still tried to talk to him, become his friend; insistent boy that he was, he eventually achieved his goal.

When all their lives changed, that day at Pandemonium, when they had met Clary, Isabelle had known that they would lose something because of her. And they did. The loss of Max had burned a hole in her heart from that day on. But she had always had Alec, Jace, Clary, Magnus, and every one else to keep her strong.

But she didn't anymore.

Smoke billowed out of her mouth as she looked across the light-polluted New york sky line. She didn't want this life anymore. She wanted to get away from the things she had done.

Knowing what had happened, it wasn't hard to see why. All the people she knew were gone. and there was nothing- no mark, no spell, no instrument of power- that could change that.

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Reviews?


	2. Simon Wonders What Will Come to Be

Due to the two reviews I got that told me to continue (thank you vinylcheese and JustCaitlin!), I'm adding another chapter to this fic. I'm gonna say this story is based five years after the end of the books, cause I hadn't specified before. So, ya. Enjoy!

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SPOV

The distant patter of rain reached his ears as he approached a small stretch of road that was unpopulated by people returning to their homes, and he stopped, wondering where he was going. He had just started walking, and he had no clue where he as going or what he was doing. He was just walking. His hands were stuffed deep into the pockets of his baggy jeans, and his shoulders were slumped, his eyes down-cast. He had nowhere to go.

The night had finally fallen. Despite Simon's miraculous ability to walk in the sun, he still was more comfortable after the sun had set. It offered a simple comfort, telling him that somehow, no matter how fucked his life was, he would be alright. He could smell the ozone of an oncoming storm in the chill air, but did not move to pull his jacket tighter or to pull his hood over his head. What point was there to do so? Being undead did have a few perks, one of which was that he didn't feel cold, he couldn't get sick. He couldn't grow old.

No. That wasn't a gift. That was a curse, a curse that he was terrified of. He was terrified of watching everyone he knew grow old, of them dying, until all that was left was him and an empty shell of a life, full of memories and dreams that would never come true. The worst part was knowing there was nothing he could do about it.

And there was Izzy. He could deny it to everyone else, no matter how many times they asked, but he could not deny what his heart was telling him. He loved her. He couldn't help but love her, and he had loved her for all these short years of his immortal life. Ever since that night he had spent in her room after Max's death he had loved her with all of what was left of whatever was human in him.

But he refused to pursue her, to put her through the heart ache that would go along with being together. He would grow old, and he would stay young, watching her age, until she was on her deathbed, and he would lose her. He would walk in an eternity of sadness, remembering her, and only her.

As the rain neared, Simon moved towards the wall of a nearby ally and began to climb, and as he climbed, he thought of why he was out here in the first place.

Simons' mother had been worried about him lately, what with his lack of appetite, his paleness, and his restless manner. And last night, when he had been resting, she had come into his room, to make sure he was okay. And she saw him lying there in bed, still as the corpse he was. And she moved over to him and put her hand on his forehead, as she had when he was a little boy with a fever or a cold, and she would take care of him. But this time, he didn't have a temperature. This time, his skin was icy. And when she moved her hand down to where his pulse should have been, she let out a scream of despair, for her son was dead, he had to be dead, for he had no heartbeat—

Her despair had turned to horror when his eyes opened and he had looked up at her, surprised at her despair. She had shrieked at him, asking who he was what had happened to him, and finally for him to get out of her house.

She had called him a monster.

Simon sat on a rooftop, the beginnings of a storm stirring around him, and wondered if his life would ever be hold the happiness it had held before.

He kind of doubted it.

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Did you know that Microsoft word 2010 doesn't recognize "undead" as a word?

Anyways, review, and hopefully I continue this one, instead of dragging out my upload for almost a year (sorry about that again).

Much love, Kate.

EDIT: i just changed one small fact in this chapter. i would edit entirely, but i'm writing chapter 4, and its almost midnight. so JUST THE ONE FACT. that is all. thank you.


	3. Exposed to the Elements

Hi guys, just realized I didn't have a disclaimer here, so here it goes:

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything but the story line, everything else belongs to Cassandra Claire

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IPOV

The storm had finally reached the rooftop where Isabelle was lurking, the heavy downpour practically dousing her cigarette and soaking her to the bone within minutes. But she didn't move. She wouldn't move. Not today.

Right now, the only safe place seemed to be right here, exposed to the elements on the top of the Eldridge Street Synagogue, looking over the city. Because everywhere else… everywhere else, the demons could get you.

Isabelle's hatred of demons had grown in the past five years. She hated them with the passion of one thousand suns, suns that would burn the demons to a crisp. She hated them, she hunted them…

She feared them.

Five years ago, her little brother Max died at the hands of that half demon.

Four years ago, she lost her parents.

Two years ago, she had killed an innocent man.

One year ago, she had broken the heart of the only person who had ever taken care of her.

And six months ago….

Six months ago, she lost everything she had left.

The storm that had long since soaked her through somehow started coming down harder than it had before, and it felt as though it was trying to beat her down. The haze of the rain made it hard to see very far in front of her, obscuring the streetlights and the road below her. The stone was slippery wet from the rain, and she wondered what would happen if she stood on the edge of the building, looked down below, and just slipped….

No. she wouldn't do that.

Isabelle Lightwood was many things, but a murderer she was not. She looked down at the swell of her stomach, where six months ago, there had been flat, muscled skin. No, she would not murder her baby.

Even if it was the child of a demon.

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just thought i'd leave you with a cliffie. no biggie.

i promise i'll update really soon though... if you review. muahahahahaha.


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